My name is Ryan and I have lived in East London for roughly fifteen years. In that time I have had the normal jobs that I was supposed to have had and life continued. I always battled with whatever I was doing and I could never focus. My moods would fluctuate causing arguments with people around me. A few years later, I had a daughter and after that I found myself in a much more pressurized position. I was in a place where I would deem it as Toxic. I lived in a toxic environment for about three years before I eventually broke, mentally and spiritually.
After quite a massive meltdown I admitted myself into Saint Marks. I am aware of the stigma around people who attend Saint Marks and I am here to tell you that whatever stigma you’ve been told, is not true. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. I stayed there for two weeks and learnt some coping mechanisms and went back to life. Problem was, being at the wellness clinic is very different to real life and eventually I failed at living again. I just couldn’t seem to cope and I broke down again a year later.
The second time being admitted and having more therapy, and then being diagnosed with ADD, I realized everything that I had done in my life never made me happy. No job made me happy and we spend eight hours at a job. I realized that life is way to short to work eight hours and not do what you love. At the end of it all, it’s a simply a waste of my time.
As therapeutic coping mechanisms, I write and I take photos. As good fortune would have it, I enjoy doing both of these things. While writing allows me to get my thoughts out, photography allows me to explore, go outside, explore my personality, and be grounded in moments as they occur.
The whole point of this photography page is to share my interpretation of the world, what speaks to me and what at times frightens me. I still have depression and I still have anxiety and it will be a constant battle and I want to let people know, especially in East London, the people who suffer from these disorders that they are not alone. Personally, I just want to be a happy and good father and show my daughter that dreams can come true.
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23A Tecoma Street